Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I understand Curling. That high.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
