I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I have fence marks all over my body
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
