Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
