this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
