woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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