She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My bed smells like the plague
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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