idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
