just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
