I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
