I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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