I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
