Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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