You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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