No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
