Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
