so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
someone threw a dead crab at me
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
