my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
