apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
