They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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