When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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