I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
