I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
