Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
apparently the secret to your success is patron
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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