It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
