I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
