Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize