were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
