I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Quick, to the slutcave!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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