When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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