I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
