He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
