I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize