so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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