Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
thus making me awesome and them whores
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
