i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
