Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
