I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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