When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
