how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
