grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize