sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
