it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
