pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize