I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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