You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
