Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
