The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Farmville is her only friend.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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