filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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