My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
