somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he puts the penis in happiness.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
