He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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