Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
