you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
