It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
