And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
