Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
