I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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