I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
