two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
