508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
