I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize
