I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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