Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Ladies don't puke and tell
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
