something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
