Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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