is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
