In America we eat man semen.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
