You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He did a backflip because drugs
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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