Christians are straight up FREAKS
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
