I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
