I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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