Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
