i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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