therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
