Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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