So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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