You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
